I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
