Cold hands, warm shart.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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