You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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