oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i now understand why vodka
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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