He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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