I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
