New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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