He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
