you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
