We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize