At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
