So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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