ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
