Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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