somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
