What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
