I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
