I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
