You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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