yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
