He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
