If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
