Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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