Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
