he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize