awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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