its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
