I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
