he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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