id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
