I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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