Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
