There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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