I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
