I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
