Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Who died my cat blue again?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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