I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize