just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
