I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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