Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
