I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
