I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
