it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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