Can Purell be used as lube?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
