god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
