just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
