dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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