i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
