Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
