Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
