Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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