i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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