Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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