I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
