Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
