dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I puked a lego.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
