So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You pole danced in your parka.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
