after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
