..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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