omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize