Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
