I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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