Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
