hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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