haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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