his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
