Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
