You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
