Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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