you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We left an ass print on the piano.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
