I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
