I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
