I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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