Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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