How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
