We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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