i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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